I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
We were destined to go to rehab together
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
Randomize
