Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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