there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
Randomize
