I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
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She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
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I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
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