Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
Randomize
