oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
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