New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
I just got carded by a ten year old.
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
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