real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize
