i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
Randomize
