and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
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