The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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