I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
Randomize
