Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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