you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
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