he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
