Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
Randomize
