We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
Where'd you go last night?
Don't EVER let me photobomb a group of lesbians again. They made me their "straight mascot" and I ended up singing Donna summer tunes for beers at their apartment complex.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
Randomize
