somebody snuck up and got me drunk
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
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