Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize