Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
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