I'm laying in your front yard are you home
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
Just took my morning after pill in the library
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize