Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
Randomize
