Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
i am craving dick and cupcakes
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
