I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
Randomize
