Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
25 Facts Men Don’t Know About Women Until They Live Together
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
These 19 People Imagine Others When Banging Their SO
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.