i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
Randomize
