Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (434): View more from Virginia

  There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (434): There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically. http://tfl.nu/76cj
  Replies (25) Good night (14270) Bad night (1061)
• Favorite

  (608): View more from Wisconsin

  I think my vagina is haunted

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (608): I think my vagina is haunted http://tfl.nu/mic0
  Replies (26) Good night (1001) Bad night (3379)
• Favorite

  (404): View more from Georgia

  I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?

  (503): View more from Oregon

  Succeeded.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (404): I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life? (503): Succeeded. http://tfl.nu/i020
  Replies (7) Good night (4721) Bad night (754)
• Favorite

  (314): View more from Missouri

  Dude, this chick just tossed my salad hard. All that I could picture was a dog trying to get the last of the peanut butter out of the jar of Jiff and trying not to think of how grotesque my last dump was.

  (314): View more from Missouri

  Then she tried to kiss me and I wouldn't and she got pissed off and went to sleep. Then about an hour later, her kid called her. She went home and on the way out I told her to wash her mouth before she kissed her kid good night. Weird night..

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (314): Dude, this chick just tossed my salad hard. All that I could picture was a dog trying to get the last of the peanut butter out of the jar of Jiff and trying not to think of how grotesque my last dump was. (314): Then she tried to kiss me and I wouldn't and she got pissed off and went to sleep. Then about an hour later, her kid called her. She went home and on the way out I told her to wash her mouth before she kissed her kid good night. Weird night.. http://tfl.nu/wswl
  Replies (74) Good night (1558) Bad night (6456)
• Favorite

  (281): View more from Texas

  I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (281): I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian. http://tfl.nu/ky2c
  Replies (51) Good night (3740) Bad night (733)
• Favorite

  (425): View more from Washington

  i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (425): i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like http://tfl.nu/fun3
  Replies (43) Good night (1386) Bad night (3346)
• Favorite

  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (215): these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real http://tfl.nu/vc07
  Replies (62) Good night (8050) Bad night (1444)
• Favorite

  (765): View more from Indiana

  i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (765): i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring http://tfl.nu/hl5v
  Replies (13) Good night (1146) Bad night (6103)
• Favorite

  (805): View more from California

  That bad?

  (1-805): View more from California

  Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (805): That bad? (1-805): Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding. http://tfl.nu/ntsx
  Replies (14) Good night (1012) Bad night (4790)
• Favorite

  (585): View more from New York

  eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (585): eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch' http://tfl.nu/cs24
  Replies (7) Good night (2748) Bad night (1614)
• Favorite

  (618): View more from Illinois

  He's going to be my graduation present to myself.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (618): He's going to be my graduation present to myself. http://tfl.nu/441i
  Replies (3) Good night (1341) Bad night (498)
• Favorite

  (734): View more from Michigan

  If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (734): If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do http://tfl.nu/wpum
  Replies (7) Good night (1349) Bad night (412)
• Favorite

  (914): View more from New York

  DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (914): DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD http://tfl.nu/a868
  Replies (3) Good night (1013) Bad night (408)
• Favorite

  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (508): Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about. http://tfl.nu/fvng
  Replies (1) Good night (580) Bad night (379)
• Favorite

  (920): View more from Wisconsin

  it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (920): it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son http://tfl.nu/82oe
  Replies (2) Good night (524) Bad night (455)

Randomize