why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
Randomize
