you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
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think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
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I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.