I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
These 25 People Are Obsessed With Pizza
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
16 Sexual Experiences EVERYONE Should Have At Least Once
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake