have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
Randomize
