I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
Randomize
