there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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