Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
Randomize
