There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
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