k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
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