I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
Randomize
