I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
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