You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
Someone shattered a urinal.
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
Never let your siblings swipe right.
Randomize