Are we in a gay sports bar?
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
you know you’re single when you try to cook yourself a nice pasta dinner but you’re too weak to open the container of sauce and theres no one around to help you
Randomize
