Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
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