Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
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