sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
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