i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize
