Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
Randomize
