i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
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