I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
Got drunk and tried to deep fry burritos. Turns out wild turkey isn't a good replacement for vegetable oil. Nearly burned my house down.
Sober people should be as daring as drunk people more often, because honestly the fact you’ve lived so long is a sign that anything is possible.
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
Randomize
