now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
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