i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
Randomize
