I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
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