we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Randomize
