break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
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No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
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