We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
Randomize
