Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
Randomize