he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
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