She even gives head with a lisp.
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
I think I have vodka in my lungs
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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