Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
Randomize
