i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
Randomize
