She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
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