i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
Randomize
