you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
Randomize
