I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
Randomize
