You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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