when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
Randomize
