if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
Randomize
