rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
