wat bout pragnant strippers??
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
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