dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
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He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
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